Welcome to age 22

I decided to write the first post of this year in my birthday. I would like to describe some experiences I had in this first 22 years of life.

Well, maybe my experience of life isn't the same of boys in my age, because when you are orphaned, you have to mature faster than others. It's weird have no one to support you, your parents aren't there to clean up your shits.

I saw, in the last few years, several friends asking help, money, advice to their parents and I had to do everything alone. It made me strong but I was a little envy because people was in confort zone, having a "safe harbor" while my little boat was in high seas, with the sail raised.

I don't know what people think about me, but I think they thinks I'm a big kid. Actually, I really like this identity. I would like to be a big kid even when the white hairs proves I'm not. I think folks do serious thing so seriously, that they forgot that even being serious, it can be a little soft to do. 

Well, over the years, I could see that some things don't change. You could be a big protestant, a fighter of social causes, but over time, you realize that the dough folks are so stronger than a few young minds with good ideas. You end up not wanting to spend energy with it and save this energy to something better to do with.

I discovered, in this young age, you have several ideas and some of them turn in to something strong inside you, over the years, and it became possible to make real. But you're not a kid anymore, your acts come with consequenses, and it can be very bad, or very good.

So, I'm 22 years old, and I'm so sad because I messed up the college, and I didn't finish it yet. I'm sad because my english is not good enough to get start with another language. I'm sad because a lot of plans didn't worked like I planned. But I'm also happy. I'm happy because I believe in love. I'm happy because I believe in people connection. I believe there is a big energy behind this connection.

I'm happy because I made good friendships, because I found my better half, and even it's early, I'm happy to live with her, and so close to make this marriage official. I'm happy because these bad experiences came with unbelievable histories to tell to my sons and grandsons.

Well, I think neither a thousand paragraphs can express what I'm feeling today. Several things I have with me, I can never share with anyone! There's a part of my life that belongs just to me. I believe the best is yet to coming, and this year will be an year of change!!!

Happy birthday to me!